short story of romance and woe

As most of you may have noticed, I haven’t been doing the whole “blogging frequently” as of late.  Part of that has to do with my general laziness and reading way too many other blogs to keep up with my own thing.  But a large portion of it has to do with so many brain cells being devoted to thinking about this other thing.  Now because this is a public blog and, despite my love for you all, I don’t think I want to just blabber my more private moments all over google, I will try to keep this brief.  But basically there is a boy and I liked him and I got to know him.  We went on walks and talked a l0t and in the end I asked him if maybe he liked me too and wanted to try dating.  But he didn’t and so now I am sad.  Not broken heart, cry your eyes out for days in bed sad, more like I feel bruised and lonely around the edges.  And sometimes I feel angry that this was happening to me and frustration that I can’t seem to find someone who is as dorky as me AND interested in dating me.

But if anything the past few days have taught me that even when you don’t really feel like getting better and would rather wallow a little longer, thank you very much; hearts, egos and such tend to heal faster than one would think.  And so yes I am still sad and a little mad, but I am also thinking about other things too.  Like how beautiful and amazing the miraculous landing of the recent crash landing of that flight into the Hudson river was and how much I like my housemates.  Like how lovely it is that my parents are going to sell me their old car and how I won’t have to take public transportation for hours on end to get to class.  Like how much it sucks that is is so cold, but how lovely the sun is on the piercingly blue sky.  And how even though I know that I will have fall backs and be mad/sad/lonely many more times in the future, I have so many people supporting me that when those times come just a little bit of their sting is gone.