navel, oh how I love theeJune 6, 2007
It seems that I haven’t posted here for a few days, which means of course that my inclination to navel-gaze is quite high. But first to get a few details out of the way, I had a great weekend. Mel’s wedding was wonderful and it was nice to catch up with friends from both college and high school. I also had a chance to play Tichu with the family and my mom and me made another case for women’s awesomeness by quite crushing my younger brother and dad. Although I would have to say there might have been a little bit of luck in there as well, or the fact that the males seemed to have a tendency to bet a little to frequently and higher than they should.
Anyways today I was reminiscing about how far I have come in the past 12 months. Even though I still feel like there is absolutely no way that I graduated more than a year ago, I am impressed with how things have changed. Let’s see, one year ago I was starting a summer of working two part-time jobs in which my main tasks would be espresso and paint related. Now I am facing a summer of travel, in which my main tasks will be seeing things, experiencing new places and not getting mugged/spending too much money. A year ago, having 1000 dollars in my bank account was an amazing thing and spending 30 dollars for a special dinner with friends was craziness, now both seem kinda normal (no need to fear mom and dad, I don’t have those dinners very often, just occasionally).
I guess what I am trying to say is that life just seems to be speeding up. I am less than a year and a half away from being 25 and as we all know that is half way to fifty, so really I am getting old at rather extreme rate. But you know what, I think I don’t mind that too much (granted this is said with the naiveté of a 23 year old talking about aging), I like the idea of moving on in life. I have a job, I have an apartment, I have roommates, I have disposable income (which totally makes the whole working a 8-4 job worth it) and I even have a cat.
When I was younger I would sometimes try to look at everything around me and take a mental picture. Trying to take in all the details of where I was and all my emotions, I would tell myself you have to think about this when you are 13, 16, 21, etc and remember what life was like at this very moment. I didn’t always do this during happy moments, sometimes tough ones, sometimes just because I was bored. But I had this idea if I just thought hard enough I would make it possible to remember my past more accurately. The thing is I don’t really remember any of those “exact moments”, but I do remember the act of thinking like that and pondering my future. In someways the life that I imagined for myself when I was 10, 15 and 18 is pretty different from where I am at now, but yet exactly as I imagined it. When looking back on one’s life, change tends to feel immensily slow and hard to pinpoint. Its kinda like watching grass grow and paint dry, by the time you remember to keep watching you have missed it.
So here I am a 23 year old teacher’s aide living in the “city”, trying to make friends, take pictures, pet the cat, keep my plants alive, read a little, watch some movies, bake things, take walks, go to museums, do all those things and at the same time not let time slip by so quickly that I wake up one day as an 80 year old retiree (although I am totally looking forward to shuffleboard!).