Archive for January 7th, 2006

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jet’aime mon petit chou*

January 7, 2006

*I love you my little cabbage

End of week one, interesting how quickly time melds together. I realized today that I have been feeling down, at least overall for quite some time. I had one of those hallway conversations with Meryl that just ended up being really good, not easy but useful. I realized that I just might be feeling lonely right now, which is weird because I am surrounded by lots of loving friends and family. But somehow despite all that I just haven’t been really happy in a little while. I mean I was happy in China and in London too, but I think more because I was determined to be happy and to experience life through those lens. But at least since Shanghai, I just haven’t been the same. This sprung out of Meryl and my conversation about how I have been feeling like things have been rougher between us since about them. I must admit I kind of thought it a Meryl thing, but in talking with her, I realized that like many of these kind of issues is probably a me issue. Its just been weird feeling like Meryl and I haven’t connected as well recently. I don’t know the reasons or anything, but I kind of feel like I’ve been that way with a lot of my friends. Like I can’t quite understand them and they can’t quite understand me. Plus of course I haven’t had much energy in a long time. Gosh I guess my posts have been more negative as of late, but well I guess that happens. However I should also say, that I have been working more on realizing how blessed I am. And I really do feel that I am probably doing better now in so many areas of my life than I probably ever have before. But you know contentment can be a hard thing to pin down.