go read this poem

and then come back here and tell me what you thought of it

“My father believed we are here to lift logs
that can’t be lifted, to hammer steel nails
so bent they crack when we hit them.”
 ”What My Father Believed” by John Guzlowski, from Lightning And Ashes.

For some reason it perfectly captures my mood this dreary Monday morning.  Plus it is achingly beautiful and has lines in it from some of my favorite hymns.

to do list, or why I am feeling so anxious

- fill out MCC reference form for Meryl (did today)
- find phone number for Dave’s Bridal in South Bend (did today)
- order bridesmaid dresses (I have even received the receipt)
- finish personal statement (rough draft complete)
- contact interviewee for U of I essay (did yesterday)
- put together picture/poem for Grandma (done!)
- sign up for GRE test time (did today)
- contact U of I and Dominican and learn time frame for taking tests (looked at websites and figured it out myself)
- sign up for Basic Skills test (yesterday)
- review resume and submit to U of I (done!)
- do taxes (maybe in February)
- find scholarships (February)
- fill out FAFSA (February)

Added Yesterday
- make payment for Paste magazine subscription
- obtain tuition reimbursement from ETHS (submitted all info, still need the money though)
- submit transcript request to GC
- finish long overdue secret family christmas gift
- write questions for interview (actually interview itself is also done)
- write interview essay

And the big one, that I am just itching to finish up

- Complete all application materials for both schools and submit them (March 1st)

This list also encapsulates why I hate applying to schools.

Update: I should also point out that applying to grad school is also crazy expensive and that is before you even get to the tuition part. I just plunked down $140 to pay for the GRE (the Basic Skills will be another $100), $8 for transcripts, and eventually another $75 in application fees. Jeepers, they must really like their students poor!

Update to the Update: I am taking the GRE’s on Saturday, which I am not exactly looking forward too.